Descriptive Essay: My Bedroom

by Melissa
(Alabama, US)

Original Text: Descriptive Essay: My Bedroom
My bedroom is my favorite room in my house. I enjoy my bedroom because it describes me. The things that describe me the most in my room are the wall colors, bedroom suit, and the decorations. Over the years, my room has changed from being a “kid” room to being a “teenage” room. When I was younger my mom decorated my room. When I was younger, I could not wait until I was older so that I could decorate my room however I wanted. When I was younger I had to share a bedroom with my sister. I finally moved into my own room when my brother moved out. This seemed like one of the greatest days of my life. The smell of my room makes me think of the spring time when all of the flowers are blooming. When I enter my room I hear my radio, which reminds me of a day of listening to music and hanging out with friends.
My walls are as chocolate as a Hershey bar. The reason that I chose this color brown for my room is that it matched a lot of colors and it is unusual for people to have a chocolate brown room. I also like this color because it is easy to match things with. When I was younger my bedroom was very girly and brightly painted. My wall color was yellow before we painted it.
I have a wooden bedroom suit. I have a queen size bed, a nightstand, and two dressers. They all match. The comforter on my bed is pink, green, and white, and it is made by Polo Ralph Lauren. It describes the girly side of me. Before I had a queen size bed, I had a twin size bed. It was really small. I enjoy my much larger bed now. My nightstand comes in handy for storing my midnight snack and drink. The two dressers give me more space to hold my massive collection of t-shirts.
My favorite thing about my bedroom is the decorations. I have many paintings in my room. The one I like the most is the collage painting. It has all the activities that I participate in such as, running, hunting, church, family, and friends. I also have many trophies in my room that describe what sports and other activities that I participate in. My favorite decoration in my room is my cork board. I have all my memories from my junior year. This is the decoration in my room that describes me the most. When I was younger the decorations in my room were baby dolls and trophies, not canvases and vases. I love my room so much more now that I get to decorate it myself. I have lots of picture frames sitting in my room with memories that my friends and I have made throughout the years. The decorations in my room help to make me happy when I am in an irritable mood. The decorations in my room help tie the room together.
I have always enjoyed my room. It has always been my favorite room of my house because it describes so many aspects of my life. The three main things in my room that describe me is the wall color, bedroom suit, and decorations. My friends and I enjoy spending time in my room. We can always find something interesting to do.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Revised Text:

Original Text: Descriptive Essay: My Bedroom

My bedroom is my favorite room in my house. I enjoy my bedroom because it describes me. The things that describe me the most in my room are the wall colors, bedroom suite and the decorations.

Over the years, my room has changed from being a “kid” room to being a “teenage” room. When I was younger, my mom decorated my room and I could not wait until I was older so that I could decorate my room however I wanted. When I was younger, I had to share a bedroom with my sister. I finally moved into my own room when my brother moved out. This seemed like one of the greatest days of my life.

The smell of my room makes me think of the springtime, when all of the flowers are blooming. When I enter my room I hear my radio, which reminds me of a day of listening to music and hanging out with friends.

My walls are as chocolate as a Hershey bar. The reason that I chose the color brown for my room is that it matches a lot of colors and is easy to match things with and it is unusual for people to have a chocolate brown room. When I was younger my bedroom was very girly and brightly painted. My wall color was yellow before we painted it.

I have a wooden bedroom suite. It has a queen size bed, a nightstand, and two dressers. They all match. The comforter on my bed is pink, green, and white, and it is made by Polo Ralph Lauren. It describes the girly side of me. Before I had a queen size bed, I had a twin size bed. It was really small. I enjoy my much larger bed now. My nightstand comes in handy for storing my midnight snack and drink. The two dressers give me more space to hold my massive collection of t-shirts.

My favorite thing about my bedroom is the decorations. I have many paintings in my room. The one I like the most is the collage painting. It has all the activities that I participate in such as, running, hunting, church, family, and friends. I also have many trophies in my room that describe the sports and other activities I participate in. My favorite decoration in the room is my cork board. It has all my memories from my junior year. This is the decoration in my room that describes me the most. When I was younger, the decorations in my room were baby dolls and trophies, not canvases and vases. I love my room so much more now that I get to decorate it myself. I have lots of picture frames sitting in my room with memories that my friends and I have made throughout the years. The decorations in my room help to make me happy when I am in an irritable mood and help tie the room together.

I have always enjoyed my room. It has always been my favorite room of my house because it describes so many aspects of my life. The three main things in my room that describe me are the wall color, bedroom suite, and the decorations. My friends and I enjoy spending time in my room. We can always find something interesting to do.

Editor:

1. Please review the text carefully to ensure your intended meaning was not mistakenly changed.

2. Before you leave this page, please take a moment to use the "Click here to post comments." link at the bottom of the page to rate the proofreading and leave a comment if you wish.

Proofreading and editing pages that receive ratings and comments are moved to the top of the list.