by Lina
Original Text: Future
4. One moment in my life that I thought time seemed to stand still and I was caught trying to make a crucial decision was thinking about what I wanted to do with my life. Throughout my life or even anybody’s life, we seem not to sure what we want to grow up and be. But since I am going to my final year in high school, of course I should know, right? Anyways I’ve always thought to myself that I wasn’t good enough to attend a university or even get a job when I am older. I would always just sit there and just feel pity on myself. I would question myself sometimes and would be like “Oh I’m so dumb, why I couldn’t be smart like the other students”. At that point I felt like time had stood still and it was my decision to make not anybody else’s. I couldn’t sleep nor eat because I know I needed to make a decision before it would be too late. So my decision was made that even though I thought to myself I wasn’t good enough I knew I still had to try my best. So what I did was upgraded all my courses, and my goal was to try to be more focus in school. All those people surrounding me even had thoughts similar to me, like comparing me to my older sister. “OH, guess she’s not smart like her sister”. But I realize right then I wanted to prove them wrong and show them what I can be capable of.
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Revised Text:
4. One moment in my life when I thought time seemed to stand still and I was caught trying to make a crucial decision, was when I was thinking about what I wanted to do with my life.
In my life, and maybe everybody’s life, we seem to not be sure what we want to grow up and be. Since I am going into my final year in high school, of course I should know, right? Anyway I’ve always thought to myself that I wasn’t good enough to attend a university or even get a job when I was older. I would always just sit there and feel pity for myself. I would question myself sometimes and it would be like, “Oh, I’m so dumb, why couldn’t I be smart like the other students”.
At that point I felt like time had stood still, and it was my decision to make, not anybody else’s. I couldn’t sleep or eat because I knew I needed to make a decision before it was too late. So I decided that, even though I wasn’t good enough, I still had to try my best.
What I did was to upgrade all of my courses, and set a goal to be more focused in school. All the people around me had thoughts similar to mine, like my comparing myself to my older sister. “OH, guess she’s not smart like her sister”. But I realized right then that I wanted to prove them wrong and show them what I was capable of.
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