Louisiana

Original Text: Louisiana

Can you fix anything and make suggestions?


Swamps, Rivers, Lakes, and Ponds
Crawfish, Shrimp, and Lobsters too
Singing and Dancing to Jazz and Blues
While traveling around on the bayous
Taking pictures in front of Louisiana’s Capitols
And riding aboard the U.S. Kidd
Then going to have fun at La’s State Fair
While eating pink/blue cotton candy, enjoying barbequed polish sausages, and turkey legs
Maybe even going to see some Rodeo Action
And enjoying shopping at the La Boardwalk
While also going to the malls too in La
So come on by and take a trip to the “Bald Eagle” state of the world

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Editor:

This is a bit of a stretch for me, I'm not a poet.
My apologies in advance.

Revised Text:

Come on by the “Bald Eagle” state
for Crawfish, Shrimp, and Lobsters too,
Singing and Dancing to Jazz and the Blues.

Snapshots in front of Louisiana’s Capitol,
And coming aboard the USS Kidd.
Shopping the La Boardwalk, and at the Malls too.

Then going to have fun at La’s State Fair with
pink cotton candy and blue cotton candy.
Eating turkey legs and barbequed polish sausages,
and enjoying some Rodeo Action too.

Swamps, Rivers, Lakes, and Ponds,
Traveling around on the bayous.
Take a trip, and come on by.


Editor:

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