My Trip To Old Trafford

Original Text: My Trip To Old Trafford

You could feel the excitement miles away. With every step you took the tingle of excitement raise the hairs on your arms. As we drew closer a sea of people surrounded me, all with the same destination, all heading to Old Trafford. Police were found all over the streets, waiting for one wrong move so they could pounce on the violators. Shops lined either side of the crowd inviting you in with the smells of food or the undeniable sense of team spirit. People everywhere were found scouting their tickets in hopes of being able to make a rather large profit for a minimal amount of work. After much anticipation, and after making the long walk there, the beginning of my journey into the immortal stadium began. People lined up and I filed in I could feel the history, excitement, and fulfilled dreams surrounding me. Looking left and right made it abundantly clear that I was not the only one who felt this way. People of all ages expressed their feelings through singing the songs that have become a strong part of who Manchester United is. While walking to my seat I could feel the climax drawing closer and the excitement slowly but surely overcoming me. The smell of the hot dogs encapsulated you and I felt as though I could taste them in my mouth as I made my way past the concessions. Entering the tunnel to the stadium, a rush of emotions took over me. I could feel the kiss of the stadium lights on my skin, and the warmth of their glow. The smell of the fresh-cut grass and the sprinklers took over to drown out the once before smell of food. Screams encompassed you and the squealing of the referees whistles only grew as you were reaching the climax of your trip, entering to the field. With the blink of an eye every expectation leading to this moment was not only met, but surpassed. I could now see the players; the sweat of all of their hard work, trials, and dreams was now on a pedestal for all to see. Thoughts began to again take over my mind. The speed these thoughts reached could not be simply measured or explained. A feeling soon became clear amidst all of the other emotions I was feeling, the thought that someday this could and would all be mine. The idea that someday, someone, would have this same overflow of emotions in anticipation to see me play for Manchester United.

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Revised Text:

You could feel the excitement miles away. With every step you took, the tingle of excitement raised the hairs on your arms. As we drew closer, a sea of people surrounded me, all with the same destination, all heading to Old Trafford. Police were found all over the streets, waiting for one wrong move so they could pounce on the violators. Shops lined either side of the crowd, inviting you in with the smells of food or the undeniable sense of team spirit. People everywhere were found scouting their tickets in hopes of being able to make a rather large profit for a minimal amount of work.

After much anticipation, and after making the long walk there, the journey into the immortal stadium began. People lined up and I filed in. I could feel the history, excitement and fulfilled dreams surrounding me. Looking left and right made it abundantly clear that I was not the only one who felt this way. People of all ages expressed their feelings by singing the songs that have become a strong part of who Manchester United is. While walking to my seat I could feel the climax drawing closer and the excitement slowly but surely overcoming me. The smell of the hot dogs encapsulated you and I felt as though I could taste them in my mouth as I made my way past the concessions. Entering the tunnel to the stadium, a rush of emotions overtook me. I could feel the kiss of the stadium lights on my skin and the warmth of their glow. The smell of the fresh-cut grass and of the sprinklers took over to drown out the previous smell of food. Screams encompassed you and the squealing of the referees' whistles only grew as you were reaching the climax of your trip, entering the field.

With the blink of an eye, every expectation leading to this moment was not only met, but surpassed. I could now see the players. The sweat of all of their hard work, trials, and dreams was now on a pedestal for all to see. Thoughts began to again take over my mind. The speed these thoughts reached could not be simply measured or explained. A feeling soon became clear amidst all of the other emotions I was feeling, the thought that someday this could and would all be mine. The idea that someday, someone would have this same overflow of emotions in anticipation of seeing me play for Manchester United.

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