Personal Statement

by Quang Long
(Danang City, Vietnam)

Original Text: Personal Statement

Since secondary school years, I have started to be interested in everything related to electronic devices like computer, television, or even electric toys. And this is reason why I am now an engineering sophomore of Danang University of technology which is the third biggest university in Vietnam. I am pursuing a special engineering program cooperating with another foreign university, in this case, Washington University, a highly ranked one in USA. In fact, this program was established and invested by Vietnamese ministry of education with the primary goal of contributing to the development of education quality in Vietnam as a whole. Currently, my program made some significant achievements and is highly appreciated in my country for its student’s high qualities.
When I was a child, I was a kind of introspective and coward boy even though my academic results were excellent and reached high position in my class. Thus, I meet a lot of difficulties in integrating into any group or community, causing me to have a little number of friends. Nevertheless, everything was changed when one time I was nominated by my class to participate in a contest of English eloquence because of my great English ability. I feel very scary, but I still decide to join it with huge determination on behalf of my class. As a result, even though I was not received any reward, my true success is that I overcame myself, my cowardliness, and become more socialized and extroversive. As entering into university and studying in such special program, thanks to this change and new educational methods in which soft skill are considered to be an important part, I improve myself a lot in many aspects such as communication ability, teamwork skill, and leadership skill.
Like I said above, being well-adapted to such advanced educational methods, I acquire knowledge much more effectively and thoroughly than before. However, although I am studying a program which has the same materials as Washington University, its quality is still incomparable to that of the program in USA. This is because the infrastructure of my university is incapable of fully satisfying the demand of studying, doing experiment or research. Nevertheless, more significantly, the studying environment here only consisting of Vietnamese students cause me to be difficult to efficiently and sufficiently improve my English ability to be able to work and survive in the international working environment.

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Revised Text:

Since my secondary school years, I have been interested in everything related to electronic devices like computers, television and even electric toys. This is reason I am now an engineering sophomore at Danang University of Technology, the third largest university in Vietnam.

I am pursuing a special engineering program of Danang University of Technology cooperating with Washington University, a highly ranked school in the USA. this program was established and funded by the Vietnamese Ministry of Education with the primary goal of contributing to the development of education quality in Vietnam as a whole. Currently, this program is making significant achievements and is highly appreciated in my country for its student’s high qualities.

When I was a child, I was kind of introspective and cowardly, even though my academic results were excellent and I reached a high position in my class. This is why I experience a lot of difficulties in integrating into any group or community, causing me to have little number in friends. Nevertheless, everything changed when I was nominated by my class to participate in a contest of English Speaking because of my good English ability. I feel very afraid but I decided to join in with huge determination on behalf of my class. As a result, even though I did not receive any reward, I succeeded in that I overcame myself, my cowardliness, and become more socialized and extroverted.

Entering into university and studying in a special program, with a change in educational methods, in which soft skill are considered to be an important part, I have improved myself a lot in aspects such as communication ability, teamwork and leadership skills.

Like I said above, being well-adapted to such advanced educational methods, I acquire knowledge much more effectively and thoroughly than before. However, although I am studying in a program which has the same materials as Washington University, its quality is still not comparable to that of the program in the USA. This is because the infrastructure of my university is incapable of fully satisfying the demands of studying, doing experiments or research. Nevertheless, and more significantly, the study environment here, only consisting of Vietnamese students, causes me difficulty in efficiently and sufficiently improving my English ability to be able to work and survive in the international working environment.

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