Planner Dive

Original Text: Planner Dive

When I fall, I try not to feel tears dancing down my face. I also don’t want it to look like I really hurt myself. I don’t want to be the one that hurts herself all the time. Throughout the school days, I have had several falls where my knee just gives out. There is a good chance that the ACL is torn. One of my falls in particular wasn’t a time where my face was going to turn red like a tomato, it was like when you say, I can’t believe I just did that.

Yes, the final minute of school! I saunter with my planner gripped in my hands to get it initialed. Bang! I can feel my heartbeat in my knee, throbbing and swollen. The bitter, stiff tiles of the classroom floor met my legs in a split second. I confirm to myself that I have fallen. I attempt to stand up without looking like it hurt. I realized once I had stood up that my I wasn’t holding my planner. It was all the way across the classroom. I was very close to taking out Mr. Bilyea with my planner. I couldn’t believe that just happened. All I could do was smile. I didn’t know if I would get in trouble, or teased. I felt like running out of the classroom and then coming back in a minute later
Holly

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Revised Text:

When I fall, I try not to feel the tears dancing down my face. I also don’t want it to look like I really hurt myself. I don’t want to be the one that hurts herself all the time.

Throughout my school days, I have had several falls where my knee just gave out. There is a good chance that the ACL is torn. One of my falls in particular wasn’t a time where my face was going to turn red like a tomato, it was like when you say, "I can’t believe I just did that."

Yes, the final minute of school! I saunter with my planner gripped in my hands to get it initialed. Bang! I can feel my heartbeat in my knee, throbbing and swollen. The bitter, stiff tiles of the classroom floor meet my legs in a split second. I confirm to myself that I have fallen and attempt to stand up without looking like it hurt.

I realized, once I had stood up, that I wasn’t holding my planner. It was all the way across the classroom. I was very close to having taken out Mr. Bilyea with my planner. I couldn’t believe what had just happened. All I could do was smile. I didn’t know if I would get in trouble, or teased. I felt like running out of the classroom and then coming back a minute later.

Holly

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