Quote

Original Text: Quote

Many say that it is nice to be important, but it is important to be nice. This is true. John Lennon was a member of the band, The Beatles. After he retired from the band, he became a peacemaker. He was nice to everyone and protested for peace, love, and happiness at that time. When he was a part of The Beatles, he saw that it was nice to be important. After he became a peacemaker, John then learned that it was important to be nice.
I had a similar experience like John Lennon when I was in second grade. I had a new girl in my class, and she turned out to be very popular. Therefore, me and my other friend became friends with her and so we got popular. Then the new girl made this game-like challenge. In that game-like challenge, if you either say or do not say a certain word, you will be out of the game, you cannot be her friend, and she will just forget you.
One day, I accidentally said a word that was in her ‘no’ list. She was not speaking lucidly that time and I came out of her life in less than a minute. In her brain, my file does not exist in her ‘friends’ folder. I was deleted, and I felt how amazing it was to be popular. From what I thought, I did not make a mistake. It was she. She did not understand that it was important to be nice. It is a good thing that now I understand that concept.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Revised Text:

Many say that it is nice to be important, but it is important to be nice. This is true.

John Lennon was a member of the band, The Beatles. After he retired from the band, he became a peacemaker. He was nice to everyone and protested for peace, love, and happiness at that time. When he was a part of The Beatles, he saw that it was nice to be important. After he became a peacemaker, John learned that it was important to be nice.

I had a similar experience when I was in second grade. There was a new girl in my class, and she turned out to be very popular. Me and my other friend became friends with her, so we became popular. Then the new girl made a game-like challenge. In this challenge, if you either said or did not say a certain word, you would be out of the game, you could not be her friend, and she would just forget you.

One day, I accidentally said a word that was on her ‘no’ list. She was not speaking lucidly then and I was out of her life in less than a minute. In her brain, my file did not exist in her ‘friends’ folder. I was deleted, and I learned how amazing popularity was.

I felt I had not make a mistake, it was her. She did not understand that it was important to be nice. It is a good thing that now I understand that concept.


Editor:

1. Please review the text carefully to ensure your intended meaning was not mistakenly changed.

2. Before you leave this page, please take a moment to use the "Click here to post comments." link at the bottom of the page to rate the proofreading and leave a comment if you wish.

Proofreading and editing pages that receive ratings and comments are moved to the top of the list.