Rough Draft

Original Text: Rough Draft

The day started out like any other, one warm sunny afternoon in October, an incoming call came in for a young Afghan local female age 16-17 for possible kidney failure

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Revised Text:

The day started out like any other. On a warm, sunny afternoon in October, a call came in reporting a young, local Afghan female, age 16-17, with possible kidney failure.

Editor:

1. Please review the text carefully to ensure your intended meaning was not mistakenly changed.

2. Before you leave this page, please take a moment to use the "Click here to post comments." link at the bottom of the page to rate the proofreading and leave a comment if you wish.

Proofreading and editing pages that receive ratings and comments are moved to the top of the list.