Sorry So Late

by Lynn Chow
(Charlotte, NC USA)

Original Text: Sorry So Late

Dear Ricky,

I hope that everything is well and in great health. Yes I relocated to Charlotte, NC for many reasons. If you only knew what
I have endured these past last years. I thought about moving three years ago and of course I was talked out of the whole situation. But when I started losing my identity dealing with my brother and his very very bad ways. I had to set up shop to at least try to get my life back on track and reclaimed everything that I accomplished . I have been holding a whole lot of stuff in with no one really to talk to or hear a voice of reason. Being a single parent with two kids(with help) and a teenage brother who is adhd/learning disability and emotional disability. It is very stressful living the way that I had to live. I have 3 locks on my bedroom door which is very embarrassing at times. He lie and steal already got lockup. I have a mini pawn shop in my room from everything from GPS systems,bi-bi guns,paint ball guns,24 cellphones,2 psp,1game boy,CD,Zune etc....All were stolen out of cars from around where I live. I was hired at two locations only to get terminated 3months later because I had to leave and pick him up from school due to a fight. I am grateful to have both of my boys father in there life. I rather for them to be back home versus down here with me and my brother and his bad habits. As you may know that Michan and I really are not as close as we use to be and I don't know what transpire for us to be as distant as we are. I am very much aware that she is doing the family thing(in her words) and we might grow apart a little bit but gee-sh...Its bad..So bad that she didn't even know that I was moving until 3 days for me to hit the road. Its not her fault I know she is busy with a toddler,work,school and family. No don't get me wrong I really miss my sister with all my heart. She probably think that I didn't want anything when I call and she don't pick up the phone.


As for myself I am not as busy as she may be but I am very stress and tired of crying. Talking to people who really don't care but only focus on themselves. I struggle very hard mentally trying to make sure that I am making the right moves. Michan would have known only if she had pick up the phone or took the time out to reach out to a friend. I don't bother her at all because she is really busy. She knows that I love her and got her back anytime and I am very happy for her and her family. Who we are never changes,What we do keeps changing. But at the end I prayed really hard and ask god to show me signs that I am doing the right thing. And the rest will be history, I landed two jobs and a nice place. I do travel every two week to spend time with my boys an I love it! I am still stress but I am learning some valuable lessons of life. Sometime you gotta go through hell to get heaven . My brother will be turning 18 in February and enrolled to a independent living program. Then I will be able to get my life in order with no stress. Enough about me...how are you doing. How are things with you and Rosa? Charlotte is cheap but I don't know how long that I will remain a resident of Charlotte. I have to reclaim who I am as a person then move on from there.....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Revised Text:

Dear Ricky,

I hope that everyone is well and in great health.

Yes, I relocated to Charlotte, NC for many reasons.

If you only knew what I have endured these past last years.

I thought about moving three years ago, and of course I was talked out of the whole situation. But when I started losing my identity dealing with my brother and his very very bad ways, I had to attempt to at least try to get my life back on track and reclaim everything that I accomplished.

I have been holding a whole lot of stuff in, with no one really to talk to or offer a voice of reason. Being a single parent with two kids(with help) and a teenage brother who is ADHD/learning disability and has an emotional disability, it is very stressful living the way that I have to.

I have 3 locks on my bedroom door, which is very embarrassing at times. He lies and steals and has already been locked up. I have a mini pawn shop in my room, with everything from GPS systems, b-b guns, paint ball guns, 24 cellphones, 2 psp's, 1 game boy, CD's, Zune, etc. All were stolen out of cars from around where I live.

I was hired for two jobs, only to get terminated 3 months later because I had to leave and pick him up from school due to a fight. I am grateful to have both of my boy's fathers in their lives, but I would rather them be back home versus down here with me and my brother and his bad habits.

As you may know, Michan and I really are not as close as we use to be and I don't know what will transpire for us as distant as we are. I am very much aware that she is doing the family thing (in her words) and we might grow apart a little bit but gee-sh. Its bad. so bad that she didn't even know that I was moving until 3 days before time for me to hit the road.

Its not her fault, I know she is busy with a toddler, work, school and family. No, don't get me wrong. I really miss my sister with all my heart. She probably thinks that I didn't want anything when I called and she din't pick up the phone.

As for myself, I am not as busy as she may be but I am very stressed and tired of crying, talking to people who really don't care, but only focus on themselves. I struggle very hard mentally trying to make sure that I am making the right moves. Michan would have known, if she had only picked up the phone or took the time to reach out to a friend.

I don't bother her at all because she is really busy. She knows that I love her and got her back anytime and that I am very happy for her and her family. Who we are never changes, what we do keeps changing. At the end I prayed really hard and asked God to show me signs that I was doing the right thing. The rest will be history.

I landed two jobs and a nice place. I travel every two week to spend time with my boys and I love it! I am still stressed but I am learning some valuable lessons of life. Sometimes you gotta go through hell to get to heaven.

My brother will be turning 18 in February and will be enrolled in an independent living program. Then I will be able to get my life in order with no stress.

Enough about me, how are you doing. How are things with you and Rosa? Charlotte is cheap but I don't know how long that I will remain a resident here. I have to reclaim who I am as a person then move on from there.

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