The Minorities

Original Text: The Minorities

If anyone ever asked the question “ who is the most popular clique in school?” the answer would be “jocks” from the majority of every school in the United States. In reality, that answer is incorrect. The “band geeks” as some would call, are the most popular out of the whole high school population. The jocks are a bunch of wannabes that starve for attention from anyone that is willing to notice them. It is time to set everyone straight, movies are creating a fantasy world, but it is time for reality. Band members, also known in reality as band royalty, are the rulers of the schools; jocks are only the peasants.
Band students are the top dog within the doors of all schools. Hands are flying every direction towards the musicians as they make their way to each of their classes. They never get tired of the admiration of their fellow students, and they always make sure to give equal attention to their fans.
Teachers float onto cloud nine when they are greeted by a band student that will be attending their lessons on a daily basis because they receive the respect that is deserved and attention that is required. Their tests are masterpieces that can break with just a touch of a pen. Teachers weep at the sight of the remarkable work that has been written on a single sheet of paper. Teachers never have to lower their standards when it comes to all the musicians.
Football and basketball stadiums are palaces to the sophisticated musicians. These events are the focal point where they are able to shine their brightest and demonstrate why they are branded as royalty of their high school. Tickets are sold out every Friday by followers that are anxious to hear heavenly sounds. If it was not for the band, the bleachers would be catching dust as the other towns came and crushed each of the players.
Now Jocks, on the other hand, live in a daydream they create while staring off in space during math class. The only thing they are interested in is sports and girls. When it comes to any kind of knowledge, for example, literature and history, everything goes in one ear and out the other. They have no remembrance of useful information that would be helpful outside of the world of sports. The only reason they do not give any effort is the lack of motivation because all they need is the bare minimum to continue all they know.

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Revised Text:

If anyone ever asked the question “What is the most popular clique in school?” the answer from the majority of every school in the United States would be “jocks”. In reality, that answer is incorrect. The “band geeks”, as some would call them, are the most popular out of the whole high school population. The jocks are a bunch of "wannabes" that are starved for attention from anyone that is willing to notice them. It is time to set everyone straight, movies are creating a fantasy world, but it is time for reality. Band members, also known in reality as band royalty, are the rulers of the schools; jocks are only the peasants.

Band students are the top dogs within the doors of all schools. Hands are flying every direction towards the musicians as they make their way to each of their classes. They never get tired of the admiration of their fellow students and they always make sure to give equal attention to their fans.

Teachers float onto cloud nine when they are greeted by a band student who will be attending their lessons on a daily basis because they receive the respect that is deserved and attention that is required. Their tests are masterpieces that can break with just a touch of a pen. Teachers weep at the sight of the remarkable work that has been written on a single sheet of paper. Teachers never have to lower their standards when it comes to the musicians.

Football and basketball stadiums are palaces for the sophisticated musicians. Events there are the focal points where they are able to shine their brightest and demonstrate why they are branded as the royalty of their high schools. Tickets are sold out every Friday by followers who are anxious to hear heavenly sounds. If it were not for the band, the bleachers would be gathering dust.

Now Jocks, on the other hand, live in a daydream they create while staring off into space during math class. The only things they are interested in are sports and girls. When it comes to any kind of knowledge, literature and history for example, everything goes in one ear and out the other. They have no memories of useful information which would be helpful outside the world of sports. The reason they make no effort is a lack of motivation because all they need to know is the bare minimum.

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