The World of Technology

Original Text: The World of Technology

Technology, Technology, that’s all we use today. There’s Facebook, Twitter, Myspace, and so many more. My opinion on technology is that I agree that is very distracting because many kids are failing and falling behind in school and grades.
There are so many reasons I agree with the writer of the Scope magazine article “Is Technology Messing with Your Brain?” One reason is kids are spending more time with their gadgets than with their friends. Another reason is kids are spending more time with their electronics than with their homework. Last reason is kids can’t concentrate or remember anything because their brain is multitasking with all of this technology.
To emphasize my point, you should agree that kids using technology is distracting their minds off real stuff that matters. School work should come first and then you could play later. Many parents think I’m probably right and the other parents think I’m wrong. We need to get these intelligent kids cracking into these books, learning.

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Revised Text:

Technology, Technology, that’s all we use today. There’s Facebook, Twitter, Myspace, and so many more. My opinion on technology is that I agree it is very distracting because many kids are failing and falling behind in school and their grades.

There are many reasons I agree with the writer of the Scope magazine article “Is Technology Messing with Your Brain?” One is that kids are spending more time with their gadgets than with their friends. Another reason is that kids are spending more time with their electronics than with their homework. The last reason is that kids can’t concentrate or remember anything because their brains are multitasking with all of this technology.

To emphasize my point, I believe that kids use of technology is distracting their minds from real stuff that matters. School work should come first, and play later. Many parents think I’m probably right but others think I’m wrong. We need to get these intelligent kids cracking on these books, learning.

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